I’ve had kind of a crappy attitude for a long time. I always say thank you and act grateful. But, I haven’t had true gratitude in my heart for a long time. I’m not sure when it started, but I was always able to find something to complain about or talk about the negatives instead of the positives. Some years ago, a family member asked AJ if I was ever happy. She said, “She never seems truly happy.” But after a tough year last year, I’ve decided to change it. It’s not happening overnight. After all, bad habits are hard to break! But, I am starting to look around at all I have to be thankful for and really take it in.
The other morning I was up early cleaning- one of my least favorite things. I wish I could be someone that found cleaning to be a stress relief, but I don’t. So, I tried to look at it from the perspective of having gratitude about having a safe home to live in and place to watch my daughter grow. It made the time pass quicker, and I was more upbeat while I scrubbed away!
Yesterday, Emma didn’t want to sit still at the Denver Aquarium restaurant waiting for the mermaid show. I was close to losing it with her. After wrangling her back to the table for the third time, I picked her up and gave her a tight squeezy hug and told her I’m excited to see the mermaids too. She kind of looked at me puzzled. But, it turned a negative situation around as we than began to talk about what we think the mermaids will look like as she sat anxiously in her seat. Before I lost it with her and left the restaurant, I thought of how I would feel at that age being excited for something. And I thought about how lucky I am to have this time with her. A beautiful memory was created watching her excitement when the mermaids appeared. She talked about it almost the entire way home. And it happened because I let gratitude take over my attitude.
Yes, I’m still human and will still complain about things. Yes, I’m sure I will lose my cool with Emma. But, I am hoping that it will happen less and less, so I can truly see more joy out of life.